If only
by AnimeImagitiveFluff
Summary: Lance helps his team in ways he could never imagine, and now, he will never know either


The wind burned his eyes, the water droplets pelted his clenched hands, the frigid air tortured his bare skin, but he did not stop. For there was nothing to stop for. No one waiting for him at home, no goal worth fighting for, no love left in his shrivelled heart.

For his parents were missing for almost half his life now, his school has expelled him and his brother is dead.

So no, Keith did not slow down his hover bike on the dangerous turns, he did not seek shelter when the desert rain turned the road almost invisible and he defiantly did not allow his fear to reach his mind. He drowned it in his anger and fury and any other anger based emotion he could muster, and he stayed that way for there was nothing to grab hold of when his emotions swept him away.

When Shiro came back he thought it would be better, that he might be able to feel happy again, but when he learnt about the atrocity that had happened to Shiro in the year he had been missing he lost his appetite for happiness, and again was consumed by his hate, but surprisingly it was when Keith had stopped looking for happiness that it given to him, or impossible to ignore more likely, for it arrived in the shape of a dark skin, loudmouth teenage boy in a baggy jumper and tight pants.

At first Keith hated this boy, he wanted nothing more than to just focuses on his next steps, his following punch, his latest brake threw against the tyranny controlling the universe, but this boy made him stop, made his pay attention to stupid details, to meaningless battles, to indescribably bad comebacks.

He made him think, made him pause and eventually,

eventually,

he made him feel happy to be by his side.

If only Keith had been able to tell him before it was too late.

* * *

He was tired. He was always tired these days, it was like he had become accustomed to the weariness that has settled onto his bones, the dread in his mind, the horror that practically radiated off his metal arm into his shoulder and eventually gripped his heart in a vice grip.

Shiro remembered a time when he wasn't always so tired, when he was happy, when he had goals and a brother to look out for, but now his brother was an angry grown man with issues of his own, which was just another thing Shiro had to fix.

Sometimes it felt like he had the entire universe was standing on his shoulders, slowly pushing him down until he had nothing but fear and anxiety rattling around in his mind. Sometimes Shiro felt like leaving, to simply get up and leave and never look back, but then he would remember Pidge and her quest to find her family, Hunk and his aching heart for his darling Shay, his sweetheart that he had to leave behind so that he could save her, he thought of Coran who said so much but never about what he had lost, or the Princess, who spoke with a silver tongue, who would risk her life so that no other species will have to go through what she had to, who always tried to hide her pain with a smile but could never keep it entirely out of her eyes.

And then Shiro would think of the Cuban boy who missed his family more than life itself but never told anymore about his pain, the boy that flirted with everyone he saw simply because he never wanted to be alone again. The boy that hid is fears so well that if anymore were to look for them they would never find one. The boy who never gave up, when it was against a glara he was fighting, or an entire ligament of battle ships or even his own injuries.

The boy that was brave not because he had no fear for that was not true, but was brave because he apprehended them and ignored it regardless. The boy that kept Shiro going if he knew it or not.

If only Shiro have thanked him sooner.

* * *

Priorities were always clear to Pidge, it was always easy to know what had to happen and what didn't. Cut her hair, lie to the world about her entire identify and misinform her friends about important aspects of her life was a priority. Saying goodbye to her last living member of her family, informing the world she was not in fact dead and enjoying the tax-free education provided by one of the best school in the Northern Hemisphere was not.

To have fun, to make friends or to be true to herself were irrelevant.

Food had to be nutritious, not tasty.

Activities had to be informative, not fun.

Rooftops had to be high up, not with a pretty view, but of course that was were Pidge met the boy that challenged everything she had ever worked for.

Of course, that was not the first time she had met him, but it was the first time she did not tune him out simply because his words were useless to her overall goal, it was the first time she talked to someone about something she was interested in in a long time. And of course, it was also the first step in her mission to get back her family.

That stupid, talkative boy never did let her be after that, always look out for her in some way, and even roping the others into doing the same as well.

He would tease her, challenge her and make her life generally worse than it should be, but he also was a perfect example of how to live. How everyone needs help sometimes, that to put yourself first is not a bad thing, even if that thing was even just a facial mask sometimes. He made her realise that she was part of something bigger now, something she could not walk out of and not even want to.

He made her alive again.

If only she could do the same for him.

* * *

If his life was a metaphor, he liked to think that his best friend was a remote island, stable and reassuring, but at the same time completely surrounded by crazy death defying waves that would like nothing better than to drag him down to his death. These waves were symbolic for his nerves, that made his hands shake when he needed them the most. His fears, that made his mind cold and his stomach heave. His sorrow, for he had left everything behind to achieve this crazy goal of theirs that made his neck sweat when he thought about it for too long.

But his best friend, his crazy, unstoppable insanely positive island in the ruff, he made everything easier.

Instead of worrying about ship repairs or mysterious food goo, when he was with that boy he only had to worry about what the hell the crazy kid was going to do next. He had to keep his eyes peeled for the dangers his friend will run to with open arms, the foods he will eat willingly if the server had a pretty face, the unbound stupidity that may or may not come spewing out of his mouth.

When Hunk was with his friend everything was simpler, as if his friend would suck his worries away with his shear presence. He made Hunk feel better when no one else could.

If only Hunk could have helped him in turn.

* * *

Lance died with a pun and a smirk on his lips, which was typical of him, but did not change the fact that he was dead.

He had died saving an innocent planet from annihilation, which was also typical of him, but this time he was too far away from anyone to help, for when Keith got to his location on the planet surface, Lance could only look up weakly from where he was slumped against a wall that was already stained with his blood. He had joked that finally the two of them matched in colour, but Keith had told him sharply to shut up and save his strength. Keith never was good at sympathy when he was panicking, Lance knew this so he simply smirked and did as he was told.

When Shiro got there next Keith had already laid Lance down on his back and was removing the blue boys armour.

Keith's hands were shaking so badly that he could barely remove the buckles, so with a dread feeling in his heart Shiro took over his job and instructed Keith to get bandages, or a blanket or anything.

Lance had joked that Keith should get Shiro a pillow as well. He looked tired.

Pidge arrived next, took one look at the scene and froze. She knew Lance was too far gone to save, that she had allowed herself to become attached so of course it hurt now to see him like this. She wished just for a moment that she had not have become so in winded with her feelings, that she had stayed as emotionless as her beloved machines. But it was too late now.

Hunk arrived last. He got to see his friends eyes light up one last time at the sight of him, and the horse like aliens he had bought for help.

Lance had asked "why the long face?"

Lance had then laughed at his own joke and had died.

And Keith's anger came back full force.

And Shiro's soul sank with the weight of another lost friend.

And Pidge's heart shrivelled up under a blanket of pain to smothered it completely.

And Hunk was overcome by the waves he had to badly fought against.

And everyone wished, if only, just only they had been able to say goodbye to someone who never felt like he was a part of them, but was actually the glue that held them together.

* * *

Wow wasn't that pretentious. God its been a while since i have written something, mainly because i have been going threw a change in my writing style and can not find a way to put them all together into something that actually sounds good.

I wanted this to be more gay, but then it became about how Lance is needed, if he knows it or not.

God i love lance.

Anyway, ill try and write some klance fluff later ok.

Bye for now


End file.
